When I started my lifestyle transformation a few years ago after facing some serious health issues, I didn’t really set out to relieve my dependency on medication. Weight loss, pain relief and body image were my primary goals. What I discovered along the way changed my entire perspective of healthcare and self-care. I now believe these two concepts go hand in hand.
Growing up in the Midwest, I lived a typical working class life. My father was a machinist and had been diagnosed with diabetes from the age of 14. My mother was ill equipped to be a parent as she was barely an adult when they married and she had her first of four children – me being the youngest. My mother’s way of dealing with the pressures of parenthood, anxiety, depression and insecurities was to eat. She would often buy sweets and cakes knowing that my father couldn’t partake in them. In her shame would often hide them in her dresser drawers or in cupboards she didn’t think anyone would look in.
My father’s idea of a healthy, well balanced meal was based around the current wisdom published by the government that stated three square meals a day consisting of protein, vegetables and starch washed down with a healthy glass of milk to make sure you got your daily dose of calcium intake. Fruits were usually canned because they kept longer. Neither of my parents were great cooks although my mother was fairly adept at baking cakes and cookies. We often subsisted on frozen TV dinners. For those of you old enough to know Swanson TV dinners and pot pies, I’m sure you can understand the attraction to these wonderful, ingenious, innovative and cost effective meals that could provide a balanced meal for low cost and minimal effort. For those of you who have no idea what TV dinners are, these were the precursors to the myriad of frozen convenience meals that proliferate the freezer section of every grocery store across America.
I won’t go into my thoughts about the health factor of these ‘Healthy’ convenience meals. I’ll save that for another post. My point in sharing this background is to give a reference of what my early experience was regarding food and nutrition. While my father was acutely aware of a ‘healthy diet’ and how that effected his diabetes, my mother used food to hide and assuage her emotional insecurities. I grew up with so many mixed messages about what was food and what was considered healthy. This drove me to explore food at an early age. I taught myself how to cook and bake. Yes, I’m quite good at both. Unusual, I know, but I think my strong survival instinct kicked in and motivated me to get creative. Somehow I instinctually knew that a sandwich made of bologna, American single slice cheese, mayonnaise and mustard between slices of white bread slathered with margarine was not the best choice for a ‘healthy’ lunch. Even if it did have a side of fruit cocktail (in its own juice).
As soon as I had my own money from babysitting or my paper route (remember when we actually got newspapers delivered to our homes?), I would go to the grocery store and search the aisles for inspiration for what I perceived to be healthy options. This usually consisted of fig newtons, Ryevita, swiss cheese (I actually had to slice it myself therefore it must be healthy), grapes, strawberries, meats to go with the cheeses, yogurt with real fruit, orange juice that didn’t come from a tube in the freezer. All decidedly healthier option then what my parents provided. Although I have to admit I would occasionally slip in a box of Hostess Ding Dongs. There was just something so satisfying about unwrapping that shiny foil, exposing the luxurious waxy chocolate covered cake filled with the fluffy, cream center. These I would hide in my bedroom – typically in one of my dresser drawers under my pajamas – much like my mother with her boxes of valentines chocolate heart boxes.
I became increasingly interested in baking and cooking and started buying my own cook books. I started off with the classics: Betty Crocker – I still have my original and my mother’s she received as a wedding gift. This was, of course, before you could Google any recipe on the planet. I now have an incredible library of cook books – most of which I don’t use because the recipes don’t match with my lifestyle of health and self-care. However, I have learned how to modify some of my favorites, like oyster stew and make them WildFit approved.
As my interest in food and healthy options grew, I moved on to alternative options – wheat free baking (before gluten free was a marketing plan), soy milk (ok, not the best alternative, but I had to start somewhere). Snacking consisted of celery, carrots, cucumbers, nuts and cheeses (oh cheese, this would prove to be one of the hardest food items for me to reconcile). And, of course, sugar. Sugar, the bedrock of all good baking recipes. I made headway in my diet and nutrition and was able to maintain a very health, lithe body for most of my life. I imagine my 6” 1’ height helped considerably.
Fast forward 30 years when I found myself nearing 50 and realizing that all the knowledge of what I thought was health was actually making me sick and I was heading down a path of poor, deteriorating health. Admittedly, later in life than my mother, but still on the same trajectory. I was a month away from turning 50 and grossly overweight. My wonderful husband’s support of telling me ‘I love you no matter what your weight’ somehow didn’t make me feel any better about myself. I thought I was eating healthily, but when I look back now I realize the stress and emotional eating was always there. While I was filling myself with mostly health foods, I was actually killing myself slowly with cortisol and negative self-talk.
It was my 5th year of being on thyroid medication with a gradually increasing dosage. My blood pressure – historically low – was now bordering on the high side. My doctor noted I was classified as pre-diabetic and asked if I wanted a metformin prescription as it might help with my weight. I declined and instead signed up for an Ayurvedic program in the hopes it would help kick-start my healing. I followed the Ayurvedic principles (mostly) for my dosha, but found the reliance on grain and dairy left me feeling bloated, heavy and lethargic. I believe there is much to be learned from the ancient teaching of Ayurveda, however from a nutritional perspective, I found the experience unfulfilling.
I decided I needed to go back to my approach I had adopted growing up. Explore, experiment and expand my knowledge and understanding of what is or isn’t healthy. I bought books on thyroid diets, increasing metabolism, detoxing, juicing, raw foods, blood types, vegan and meat. I tried fasting, feasting and foregoing. There were programs for meal replacement, smoothie diets, HCG shots and vitamin shots. Pretty much anything that promised quick changes and rapid weight loss. I was willing to use my body as an experimental lab.
What I failed to recognize at the time, was all of these approached relied on external changes based around will power. None of them addressed the root cause or taught me the WHY behind how they worked or didn’t work in my case. It was only after I discovered WildFit and examined my inner dialogue and emotional attachments that I was able to integrate healthy lifestyle choices that allowed me to release over 70 pounds and my attachment to what I thought was healthy.
Most of what I thought I knew about healthy food was based on misinformation and marketing. Even my doctor, who I consider fairly forward thinking, didn’t seem to understand the connection as deeply as I now do. Unfortunately, physicians who want to learn about health and nutrition must do that learning outside of medical school. Much of this ‘education’ is provided by pharmaceutical companies and food manufacturers so you can imagine there is no bias in that training.
The benefits I experienced from WildFit can be measured by my weight loss, however the greater benefits come from my increased energy, mental clarity, easing of menopausal symptoms, pain relief and renewed enthusiasm for life. And most importantly I no longer rely on thyroid medication to balance my energy levels. I’m no longer pre-diabetic and my blood pressure has returned to my normal low range. My metabolism has increased exponentially and my connection to my body is so strong now, I know immediately when I’ve had some food that wasn’t a good choice for caring for myself.
I still occasionally battle with my inner dialogue about giving myself a ‘treat’ or partaking in a celebratory cake because ‘everyone else is having some’. When these times come up, I remind myself of where I’ve come from, how I feel now and how I’ll feel after I have that treat. I ask myself if by having the ________ (insert anything you consider a treat) will that be honoring who I am now or placating who I was? Sometimes I still choose to mis-treat myself and I’m OK with that too, because the result reinforces my resolve as I listen to my body’s complaints through bloating, cramps, indigestion, inflammation, etc.
I have lived a WildFit lifestyle for almost two years and I’ve been off my thyroid medication for nearly six months. My doctor is following my progress closely and we have an agreement to check my blood work every three months. She is very impressed with my transformation and while she always believed thyroid disease could be reversed, I’m her first patient who actually achieved it.
Maintaining the progress means I have to pay close attention to my daily nutritional intake. The best way I’ve found to manage my stress levels and stay focused on health is to start my day in a mindful way. I wake at 4 am every day (including Saturday and Sunday – much to my husband’s dismay). I recognize this isn’t for everyone and my intent in sharing this information with you is simply to give you an idea of some things you might be able to incorporate into you daily progress strategy.
4am wake, turn on sauna
4:15 10 minutes on the vibration plate (this gets the lymph system moving)
4:25 20 minutes stretching and/or yoga
4:45 Dry body brush
4:50 Vitamins and Alkagizer
4:55 Infrared sauna
Journaling (morning pages)
Meditation
6:00 Feed dogs
6:15 shower
7:00 sit down at my desk ready for the day
Incorporating meditation and nutrition as the cornerstones of my healthy lifestyle has given me the tools to transform my body, my mind and my soul. Turning healthcare into self-care will enable me to live a long, healthy energetic life and share my experiences and knowledge with others.
A few years ago I was introduced to a meditation that practices a daily reflection on ‘who am I’. It’s not meant to provide any answers, only to help you become more aware of the many facets of who you are. We each have many different personas. For example, when I ask the question ‘who am I’, the answer is multi-layered. I’m a mother, wife, adult, daughter, sister, friend, executive, creative, lover, etc,. The list could go on and on. The exercise teaches us that we are all of these labels and none of them. Each aspect captures just a fraction of who I truly am. And depending on a given situation I may show up differently. Each label is a construct of society to describe someone’s behavior or personality. Thereby making them more familiar or relate-able.
I realized that by allowing myself to succumb to a given label, I am ignoring the rest of who I am. For example, in a business meeting my adult, corporate executive self is front and center. This doesn’t always enable me to be open to the wonders and possibilities that my child self might see and be open to exploring. Or my coach, teacher self may have a better way of presenting ideas than the factual adult. By limiting how I’m showing up, I’m limiting the possibilities and opportunities.
The meditation practice goes further by asking ‘what is my purpose’. With this question, many things can come up on a daily basis. My purpose can be the same from day to day or it may change depending on what is happening in my life at the time. What I found by doing this exercise over a period of time is that my overall purpose is to live a life full of joy and abundance. That can come in many guises. It could be as simple as spending a relaxing afternoon at home with my husband and bulldogs. Or it could be as tactical as delivering the most outstanding presentation and really wowing a client.
There are other aspects to the meditation practice, however for the purposes of this blog, I’m only emphasizing these two. The reason is that by understanding that we are multi-layered, complex beings that have malleable purposes in life, we realize that we are truly multi-dimensional beings and that by only recognizing one label at a time we are doing a disservice to ourselves and those we are interacting with. However, by acknowledging that we are multi-faceted and truly appreciating all the dimensions of our personas we can begin to show up in the world in a more authentic way and see the wonders and infinite possibilities that await us.
I started meditating many years ago. However, I can’t say that I really practiced it until about 5 years ago. I was a dabbler. I would participate in meditation sessions when on a retreat or when I attended various workshops. And I always enjoyed the experience. Closing my eyes, following my breath, listening to the instructor lead us through various guided meditation exercises. While I couldn’t always visualize the special light energy or the magic message box, I always felt much calmer, more relaxed and definitely more clear minded. I enjoyed the experiences, but didn’t really incorporate it into my life. I even took a Primordial Sound Meditation training class in 2001 with my husband and then 10 year old son. We were each given our primordial sound mantra to help us focus our thoughts and calm our monkey minds. After learning this technique, I would occasionally take time in the mornings to ‘practice’ my meditation. And while I found that it did help me to calm my mind and manage my stress levels, I still didn’t really understand the full benefits of what meditation was bringing me.
It wasn’t until in 2013, when I was feeling under appreciated, insignificant and trying to figure out what my next career move should be that I started to really explore meditation. I was starting to read articles about the benefits of various meditation techniques and mindfulness practices. I hadn’t meditated in quite some time so one afternoon I decided to tune into a Deepak Chopra program that I had downloaded on my phone. With earbuds in place, the music started and then Deepak’s deep, gentle voice sounded in my head. He talked about the meditation practice, lead me through some breathing exercises and then transitioned into a simple mantra based meditation. I’m not sure what happened for the next 20 minutes, but I was definitely transported somewhere else. I experienced such peace, joy, tranquility and love, that when I came out of the meditation I was crying. No, I was sobbing tears of joy. I felt like I had reconnected with my soul at such a deep level and that I was surrounded by love and compassion. Needless to say, I was hooked.
I started to explore the 21 Day meditation programs that are offered through the Chopra center and available on the app (now downloaded on my phone, tablet and anything else that connects to the internet). I started off with the 21-Day Abundance program. My thinking was that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do and that abundance needed to be a part of that. What I learned through that program was that abundance is all around us if only we open our eyes, ears, minds and hearts to recognize it. This set me on a path that allowed me to begin to frame up what I truly wanted in life. I was able to identify and articulate what I valued most and why. Surprisingly it wasn’t about money.
….standby for my next installment to see how I put this all into practice to help reshape my life and find the abundance I was looking for.
PART 2 – FINDING MY WHY TO MEDITATION
Following on from my last blog, here is part 2, where I start to use meditation on a daily basis to help me focus on purpose (even just for the day) and gain more inner satisfaction
The Chopra Center meditation classes (and ultimately my certification as an instructor) that I shared with you in Part 1, were my springboard and I jumped on and then off it with enthusiasm. I began incorporating meditation into my morning routine. Some days it would only be a quick 5 minutes of quiet breathing. Setting my intentions for the day and opening my heart to feel the gratitude for all that I have and all that I will receive in the day. I was doing a lot of traveling at that time for work. I was leading large teams through very stressful projects with tight deadlines and multiple opportunities for failure. So I’m sure you can imagine the stress and pressure that I was experiencing. What I noticed, and what others often commented on, was that even when faced with irate customers, broken build, missed deadlines, I remained calm and focused on the positive. I would rally the necessary team members, we’d huddle in a room, work through the issues, identify the solutions and then present it to the client for final approval. All things that I had done previously, but this time I found that I rarely got ruffled (I can’t say ‘never’, because I am still human after all) and I had tremendous energy without the use of caffeine or sugar. My mind was clear and I was able to accomplish more productive work than I had ever been able to in the past.
Greater Intuition – Listening to my gut:
My new found meditation practice also allowed me to tap into my intuition in a much more profound way than ever before. While I have always been fairly intuitive, I would often second guess my ‘gut instinct’ usually to my detriment. However, through learning how to quiet my thoughts, focus my mind and energy, breathe effectively and tap into my inner wisdom, I learned to trust my intuition in a way that I never had before. I felt guided and supported in my decisions to do the right thing, communicate more clearly and think more positively. This enabled me to realize my value that I bring to a team or organization and ultimately gave me the confidence to negotiate a salary that I believe recognizes my value and contribution.
Meditation has also enabled me to be more empathetic towards others and I’ve learned to better observe my internal feelings and reactions when faced with a stressful situation or a challenging conversation. As I stated before, I’m still human and have definitely not reached the Dalai Lama level of life. I am still learning what my triggers are and by whom. Meditation allows me to go inside and really explore what makes me tick so that I can better interact with others and have more meaningful and productive relationships.
Machu Picchu, Peru Dec 2017
A transformation of my life
I incorporate meditation into everything that I do. That doesn’t mean that I need to take 5 minutes before every meeting (although sometimes it does help). My morning routine includes a 20-30 minute meditation practice. Sometimes I use a guided program and sometimes I sit quietly, breathe deeply and mentally chant my primordial sound mantra. Sometimes I have really profound experiences and sometimes it’s just a really nice way to start the day. Regardless of what each individual meditation experience is like, the overall transformation that this practice has had on my life is immeasurable. I am more joyful, grateful, adventurous, confident and in love with life, then I have ever been. I tap into my intuition daily and allow it to guide me in any major decisions or activities.
I encourage you to explore meditation and find a technique that works for you. There are many options out there and ultimately, they all lead to similar outcomes – less stress, better sleep, improved health, improved relationships, calmer mind, clearer, positive thoughts and possibly a more adventurous spirit.
My WildFit story really started about a year prior to me discovering WildFit and learning the principles. During a routine checkup with my doctor in April 2017, I discovered that my weight was well above what I ever expected to see on a scale. Of course, being 6’1’’ I was able to ‘hide’ it, but when I look back at those pictures, I realized that the only thing I was hiding was my own shame. I knew that I needed to do something, but I was clearly incapable of making the needed changes on my own. I stared at myself in the mirror one morning observing my bloated features, puffy, bloodshot eyes and started to cry. I sat down on my bed and meditated. I asked the universe for help and guidance and just put all my fear, shame, sadness and anxiety out into their hands. Then I pulled myself back together, put my ‘game face’ on and finished getting ready for work.
About two week later I fell ill after having a nice meal and a few drinks with a friend. I woke in the night feeling like I had drank three bottles of wine to myself when I had only had two glasses. I was sick for the rest of the weekend and still quite weak when I went to work on Monday. I phoned my doctor and scheduled a visit for the coming Friday. She checked me out and couldn’t find anything obvious. My blood pressure was a bit elevated, which was unusual for me since I normally have quite low blood pressure, but apart from that I seemed fine. She ordered some blood work and sent me on my way. Early the next week I got a call with the results. She asked me if I had had anything to drink the night before my blood work. ‘No’ was my answer. She then proceeded to tell me that my liver was showing signs of what she described as ‘allergy to alcohol’. Now, I’ve never been a really heavy drinker, not that I couldn’t go out and have a good time, but I didn’t drink excessively and rarely drank hard liquor. So this allergy thing was a bit perplexing. I had noticed that over the past several months I had been more sensitive to alcohol in that I could have one beer or one glass of wine and then have a migraine or intestinal cramps the next day. But I just put that off to the stress that I was under at work.
She asked me to abstain from drinking any alcohol for 4 weeks and come in for another test. ‘No problem’, I said. Four weeks later, I returned for more tests. The results were actually worse than previously. So now she was concerned. Especially since I had also started experiencing abdominal pains around my pancreas and gallbladder. She ordered an ultrasound to see if there were any abnormalities. The results were all normal. So she again requested that I abstain from alcohol for another 4 weeks and return for more tests. The end result of all of this was that my liver had stopped processing alcohol. We believe, but can’t confirm, that it was the result of taking a prescription NSAID that had been originally prescribed in 2013 when I had plantar fasciitis on both of my feet (very painful). I had continued to use the medication because it was a low dose and really helped the pain in my knees, feet, back, joints in general. I had tried several times to stop taking it, but the pain and discomfort was just too debilitating.
Throughout this 4 month period, one of the things that I had thought would be a silver lining out of the ‘no alcohol’ situation, was that I would lose a few pounds. However, after 4 months of continued testing, I had only reduced by about 5 pounds. This left me feeling even more depressed and stressed out and I again appealed to the universe because this whole liver thing clearly wasn’t the answer that I was going to resolve my weight issue.
Then in June of 2017, I came down with an upper respiratory infection and was so ill that I needed to see a doctor for medication. Now for those of you who know me, you’ll know that I have to be very ill to see a doctor for any kind of cold like symptoms. The doctor (not my family doctor), spent about 30 seconds with me in the exam room and then wrote out his prescriptions and walked out the door. I went to the pharmacy and filled the antibiotic and chose not to fill the steroid prescription. It turns out that the antibiotic was one of the ‘end spectrum’ drugs (meaning it was really powerful and usually only used when all others don’t work). My doctor instructed me to make sure that I take all of them and not to do any exercises, because one of the side effects was torn tendons. I assured her that exercise was not on my agenda at the time since I was in the middle of a major system go-live. I completed my medication and recovered from the infection.
Then about two weeks later I realized that I still couldn’t smell or taste anything. I knew that during the infection I had been congested and couldn’t really taste or smell, but this was two week later and I was fully recovered. Then about two weeks after that I had this tremendously horrible taste / smell that I just couldn’t get rid of no matter what I ate or drank. I lost my appetite and found that the only things I could ‘safely’ eat without gagging was plain lettuce, salmon and tomatoes. I had to stop drinking coffee because not only did it taste horrible, but I couldn’t stand to step near a Starbucks due to the stench. I again scheduled in to see my doctor. She had a look at me, did more blood work and referred me to an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist. That specialist examined me and couldn’t find anything obvious, so he requested an MRI to see if there was anything neurological in the brain that might be causing this – you know, like a tumor. I’m sure you can imagine that my stress levels by this time were pretty much off the charts. All the results were negative. Everything looked normal – except I still had distorted taste and smell.
By this point I was getting pretty frustrated, depressed and downright discouraged. Then I went back to my doctor for a follow-up and found that my weight had dropped by almost 20 pounds. Ok, I thought to myself, this isn’t all bad. The results of all the tests were inconclusive, however, my doctor and I believe that the medication (again medication) that I had taken for the infection had damaged my nasal nerve pads and, therefore, I wasn’t able to smell properly, which was in turn distorting my sense of taste. The ‘experts’ had no idea how long this would last or if I would ever really get my full smell / taste back.
I went home and sat down and meditated on the situation and reflected back on the previous six month odyssey that I had been on and realized that it had all started when I asked the universe for help. What I hadn’t done was be specific! I decided to embrace the situation, learn from what I was going through and start taking better care of myself. I had already reduced by 20 pounds. I had no idea how long this was going to last or if it would ever repair fully. So I figured that I had better learn to live with it and gain some wisdom out of it. I sat myself down and had a long talk that went something like this:
“I asked for help. I got help, I just didn’t see it right away. Now that I am forced to relearn how to nourish my body, I need to capitalize on this opportunity and reshape my life. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, put your big girl pants on, and get on with getting healthy.”
I started exploring healthy options. I doubled down on my meditation practice and signed up to be a certified instructor. I reconnected with my fitness regime and found CorePump. Then I discovered Eric Edmeades and the WildFit program through Mindvalley. I can honestly say that this one program truly transformed my life. While the prior year I was forced to rethink my relationship to food out of desperation, when I started the WildFit program in February 2018, I actively chose to rethink my relationship with food. I was completely open to everything that is taught in the program and fully embraced the principles. The outcome has given me a new perspective on everything I experienced and a desire to share it with others. So when I learned that I could also become a WildFit Coach, there was no question in my mind that this was the right path for me.
WildFit helped me re-calibrate my taste buds so that while my nerve pads were healing I was continuing to feed my body healthy, nourishing, fresh options instead of the typical highly processed plastic food that I was accustomed to. I was able to break my addiction to sugar, caffeine and dairy. And although my sense of smell / taste have pretty much recovered, I now find that the things that were the most disgusting during my loss of smell, are the things that are the least healthy – dairy, bread, coffee, sweet treats, etc. My body was obviously trying to tell me something. I just needed to learn to listen to it.
Post WildFit Challenge Closet Clean out, August 2018
I’ve now released over 70 pounds (50 attributed to WildFit). I feel and look younger. I have more energy and I work out regularly. I meditate daily and really listen to what the universe has to tell me. I also learned to be a bit more specific when asking for help. I still can’t drink any alcohol, but then I really don’t miss it either. And needless to say, I no longer take ANY pain medication (except natural / holistic options) and will really investigate all potential side effects of any medications prescribed. I’d rather let my body fight the infection naturally then to take the chance of losing my sense of smell / taste again. Especially now that things taste so delicious when living WildFit.
